we reap what we sow

by anthony

The lady who runs the cafe down the street asked me during one of our conversations about alternative ways of living and my preference for voyeurism when it comes to this particular collapse of western society, “…but don’t you ever feel guilty for not doing anything?”  I appreciate her because she is honest, and curious.

“I do not because what is happening cannot be stopped.  I look at the world historically, not presently.  This collapse needs to happen because it is what the people have chosen.  Remember, not all choices are conscious.  Most choice we make daily are simply habit.  And, because it is what we all have chosen, have sown, whether we want it or not, it is what we will reap, it is what we need.”

To me, the gun debate we are having is a trite exercise of our limited will to demand change.

To me, the presidential nominating process could not have chosen two more picture perfect candidates for which to portray in total exactitude the modern day teams of the “left” and the “right”.

To me, the terrorism argument is utterly and abhorrently riddled with hypocrisy among our obsessions with what it means to be at war and peace.

To me, anytime anyone says, “How did this happen?” or, even worse, “I cannot believe that this happened!”, it furthers the notion of our willful ignorance by believing that all things in this world are a result of random factors rather than a blatantly predictable circumstance due to every single decision we have ever made, whether singularly or collectively.

Tightening OR loosening gun laws will not end the deaths.  Other major countries have more guns per capita than the States and they do not use them to kill each other.  It is not about guns, it is about the accepted hatred and suspicion of each other, it is about locking ourselves inside out houses with our televisions and our safety and our comfort and fearing everything outside of those doors.  It is about the glory a killing receives, the media, the movies, the restructuring of our entire legal and constitutional system because of the actions of one, single person.  It is about a medicated species who has intentionally, deliberately rewired its own brain without accepting the consequences of doing so.  It is not about guns.  It is about the vitriol we have for each other; and, somewhere deep, for ourselves.  Guns make for great headlines.  Guns make for great TV.  Guns get our adrenaline going, then gives all sides a voice and an outlet for our rage.

I sit in the corner and watch it all collapse because why should I help something I do not want?  I didn’t prescribe to the hatred, to the righteousness, to the greed.  I do not prescribe to the above.  I was born into it, beat into it, spent my entire youth memorizing the patriotism.  I was fed credit cards and student loans and by 18, I was completely obligated to this standard of life, this system.

I have asked the questions and I have seen the answers for myself.

So, I watch it, as I would watch a building collapse.  No amount of effort by any amount of people can hold up a stone civilization once gravity has taken her command on it.  But the sight of it is, in a literal sense, awesome, and quite rare, especially if this is the generation’s-long process of creating a new world order or the rapid natural selection of the human extinction.