because, for some reason

by anthony

Because, for some reason

I am thinking about you tonight

Because, for some reason

I have been finding myself


to the energy of you

rather than the circumstance of you

My life is about preaching control

absorb and direct emotion

and I see you


behind the liver and the heart

wrapping around my spine

grazing your fingers through the red licorice maze

I see you

peeking in secrecy

unable to bear the sermon

as I place myself deserted on endless sand,


with the breeze and water

with the peace and critters

because, for some reason,

I am now the morose habit

of flipping through the pages of my past…

“whimper, screams from a child, fairytale nightmare”

…those endless words of colorful worthlessness.

It is the notion of something better

out there

must be

and that is what we accept

for it to make sense

Because, tonight

today, yesterday, constantly,

for some reason,

I am thinking about you

For weeks, fueled off your energy

to make up for mine that

I feel slipping from me

smother to justify

push away to avoid

keeping bottled up

refusing to reveal

knowing the contempt

for daring to understand

I keep secret,

as much as I can

…like you.

But, still, for some reason…