beginning to notice…

by anthony

I noticed today that I am not getting truly excited about moving.  It’s been bothering me a little lately, so, I started thinking.  Not just ponder what’s wrong, but really try to dig deep into what’s way behind that.

And, I discovered it’s the same reasoning behind my reluctance to do the work I’ve been needing to do, the reason I have not written in two weeks, the reason why I am numb to this amazing experience I am having.   I discovered that I am afraid of what’s ahead.  I am staring down the rabbit hole, pacing furiously outside, freezing, begrudged, terrified of the two little steps it would take to re-alter and transcend everything I’ve known about myself.

I am trying too hard to forget the reality I am living in, but afraid of the sorrow dreams that are still too far to come by bring.

“What if reality was more than this?  Would you really give up everything you know is real for a chance at insanity?”