A few years ago, I went to a lesbian wedding for one of my closest friends in High School. It was the first wedding I had been to in a long time, one of my first as an “adult”. I saw old friends I hadn’t seen in years, I was with my girlfriend who I had been with for a couple of years by that point, and we had a cabin in the woods in upstate NY.
Things then were really good. But, I remember thinking that entire weekend about how much better and easier things were in High School and we never knew it until now.
Well, I got excited about having this outlet to write and a couple of you actually checked it out, so, thank you for making me continue. The reason I mention this is because when I sat down to write this, I put on an 80’s mix tape that I had found and started the floods of nostalgia and memory again.
I remember the distinct difference about how life was for me at the time of the wedding as opposed to during High School. Then, I began to wonder about how I am feeling today. Where am I in my development? And, it’s slightly humorous and ironic, but I feel the same now about my mid-20’s as I did then about High School.
I realize that this is the pivotal difference between living in the moment and constantly trying to repair and capture the past. In 5 years from now, this point in my life will be breezy compared to the one I’m looking back from.
Then that song from Top Gun comes on and, damn…crushes when you’re a kid will always be better than a crush now. And that’s ok. What’s important is that those memories remind me of aspects of myself I have never lost, and that I need to always be ready for more.